Date 2 was very special, I organised a booth at the Everyman Cinema in Hampstead. My dates usually consist of drinks and maybe a bite to eat but as I really liked this guy I thought it would be better to do something a little different.

It was a lovely date and a great place to go. The film was really good as well! Time ran out on us and so being in a straight place there was no snogging or cuddling which is a shame.:( Oh well…maybe date 3 will be more intimate.

LDNGay

Conversation was still flowing and I was having a good time so we ended up in Soho. He took me to the Friendly Society (another bar I have never been to) and really what a great bar! Anyway after more drinks we both got a but more tactile and the kissing commenced. So all in a great meeting.

I came away really liking Mr M, been chatting alot since the date and we have already organised date number 2. Fingers Crossed?!

LDNGay

OK right, lets get down to it. Mr R was one of the first guys to contact me from the site. After not being on a date for a while I was a little bit nervous, but as we only arranged it that morning I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be. My friends gave me recommendations of where to go but this place was one that came highly recommended.

I met him out site Waterstones near Piccadilly Circus and we head up to the 5 View bar. I’ve been into this Waterstones a couple of times and I love the place, It’s soo big and with some great sofas. Anyway, yes, It’s a very nice bar, beer is a little expensive but the did table service which was nice. It didn’t mean those awkward moments asking for a new pint. I had a very nice evening with Mr R, we did alot of talking and the evening seemed to fly by. We ended up in KU bar on Firth Street for more chat and beer, talking alot more about music. The evening was sealed by a little peck on the lips which was nice.

There was second date potential, but he is a busy man so we will see…

LDNGay
x

But I made a decision, after 3 months of non dating it was time to get back on the scene. Not in the same way as before I might add. Previously I had used sites in search of a boyfriend, it was all about finding that special someone to fill that void in my life and offer me some kind of stability. I would spending evenings searching through these sites for eligible guys, sending them a message and then getting worried when they didn’t reply. I started to analyse myself and work out what was wrong with me, when there is nothing wrong with me.

I’ve learnt alot about myself over the past 3 months though, learning what I want in life and making sure I get the important things sorted after what has been a very turbulent couple of years.

So waking up on New Years Day I made that decision, it was time to get back to dating. This time though it’s not about finding the man of my dreams or searching for stability. It’s about chatting to some nice guys, getting to know some new people and having a bit of fun, what ever happens, happens. They could turn out to be a potential partner or an amazing new friend. I’m a great believer that who ever you meet in life is there for a reason and can teach you something new and different.

I haven’t gone back to the same old channels. I did not go back to the social networks that I used to populate. If it’s really about dating instead of finding the next shag I went to a traditional dating site…let’s see what happens!

@LDNGay
x

Looking back to Christmas 2008, I was a very unhappy man. I was getting over my first boyfriend who had broken up with me a couple of months before Christmas. I realised I was not liking where I was living in the South West and struggling to get used to my job. It was a very hard and depressing time for me. Also 2008 was a big year for me, finally being comfortable with my feelings and coming out to my friends and family, leaving the comfortable life at university and stepping into the real world of work as a gay man…it was all quite tough. I’m usually a very happy cheerful person.

For me, 2009 was all about sorting myself out. I decided what I needed to do and set about my plan. Which I’m happy to say I pulled off, it was no easy feet and took significant effort! I took that step and moved back to the city, met back up again with all my friends and family. Towards the latter part of the year I finaly moved jobs, to a place where I am a lot happier than I was. This just led me to beleive that for all of the upset and pain everything was worth while in the end.

It’s been a year of growing as well, the first year of being gay is great fun, but not without it challenges. My new gay mates are significantly older than I am in ‘Gay Years’, but have been great at giving me pearls of wisdom and advice. I started the year in search of a new man, but came out with a great group of friends who have introduced me to the bright gay lights of the city.

So my advice, if you are a reading this as a new gay man and worrying that you haven’t been with enough guys or haven’t had enough experience….really don’t worry about it and enjoy this exciting time in your life. Boyfriends will come and go, you have the rest of your gay life to find out more…just be proud of who you are and what you have done.

Anyway, here is to 2010…another year to continue this exciting adventure.

LDNGay
x

I’m just going to throw this comment out there….

My view is that yes we do. For me I know the type of guy I ‘prefer’ but if you had met some of the guys I have been out with and seen you would probably tell me that they have been a random bunch.

Maybe your ‘type’ of guy is the one that you dream of having. The one in your dreams in  which you think you would spend the rest of your life with. They have the attributes you would love in a guy but is more of a fantasy than a reality.

Your ‘type’ might be more like a Christmas list….you want to get a few of the presents on the list, but if you didn’t get all of them your wouldn’t be disappointed.

Or maybe it is really about the guy who you meet and completely fall for who doesn’t have anything you were looking for, but at the same time has everything.

Mmmmmmm interesting!

@LDNgay

As I said in my previous post, I have been on one or all of these services on and off since I came out. So for me, disconnecting my self from this was hard, but to be honest I don’t really miss it.

If I look back I could tell you about the many nights I spent on these sites, searching and replying to messages. Worrying about whether I was going to get a message back, If I fitted their criteria or even if my pictures were ok. Then the anticipation of going on these blind dates with these guys and find out that its just not meant to be….their is only so much rejection a man can take.

But I’m not going to say it’s been easy. I’m enjoying the single life and sorting out all those little bits on my to-do list that I never get done. It does get hard thought when you realise that there are is no one that you know of on the horizon, especially when your single friends start hooking up and finding partners. For me its been hard this past week, I began to realise how long its been since I got a good snog and in turn how long its been since I had some good sex or even those feelings of when you meet the right person for the first time.

Once these thoughts start creeping into your head its tough to not let it affect you. I started to question if I have been doing the right thing. Whether it would make me happier to see what’s about and get back to my old ways. But I haven’t and I’m not going to. I’m just putting it down to a hard and bad week that everyone goes through every so often. I know things will get better and easier. I’m building a great and solid friendship group now, I’ve got a job that I am happy with and once life gets a bit more settled the right man will come along who will be an amazing kisser and great in the bedroom department….fingers crossed!

It’s all about confidence, self belief and sticking by your guns knowing that you are doing what is right for you at this moment in time.

LDNGay

X

@LDNgay

When you come out in the end of know where (like me) the only way to meet other gay men was through the numerous gay social networks. These are great places if you are looking for a bit of fun, or even trying to make some new friends in an area where you know no one. I know of people who have met their partners through one of these sites don’t get wrong. It is a different way of getting to know some one, definitely more about looks with a bit of personality thrown in, but you try to get to know the person before (and if) you meet them. I have found though that when it comes to meeting the person it is very different. You either click and get on, or you know that its time to finish that drink and leave.

So after a year I took that crucial step…I’ve deleted myself off all of the networks I was a member of  Why you might ask

Moving to a city like London, there are more places to meet people, be it in a bar or through people at work. There are more opportunities! And especially when you are not directly looking for Mr Right or that shag at the end of the night.

For me this theory worked a couple of weeks ago. Since coming out I’ve only twice pulled in a gay bar and this was one of them. I wasn’t looking in particular and this one guy caught my eye. After I told my friends, who brought him over…the rest is history. We went on a date, but nothing progressed. It taught me though that there are opportunities in the real world when you least expect it.

But really what is the best way? Really there is no answer…it could be the guy you chat to on gaydar? The guy you looked at in the bar? Or even the guy who catches your eye when your in the supermarket. We each know what works for us…

But really…what do you think?

LDNgay

X

@ldngay

Anyway, so after a couple of weeks of a few phone calls, text messages and dates he finally reveals that he is not sure how he feels about me and the he said it would have been more attractive if I had played hard to get! I’m not a man who plays these dating games. I don’t leave it 3 day’s before texting someone, I don’t try and be cool…I am me.

The reason I don’t play games is that they are hurtful to me, I don’t like people playing with my emotions at the best of times, so why would I want to be doing that with some one who could possibly be my next boyfriend? May be its just who I am, I wear my heart on my sleeve and if I like someone I’ll tell them. If it was a good date I’ll text them and say ‘I had a lovely time’. Is there anything wrong with that?

Seriously though – I don’t play by the rules with dates – rules are meant to be broken.

Opinions anyone?

I’ll tell you more about me.

I’m a 25-year-old gay guy who moved back to LDN about 4 months ago.  I’ve been out for about 18 months now so I’m just at the start of this gay life. Being new to this scene and especially to dating I’m going to talk about my experiences in this blog and offer advice where I can…and hope it might some people who are just coming out and going through the same thing as me know that they are not alone in this!

So enjoy!

Oh ps – am on Twitter too: @LDNgay